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	<title>Business Blog 2.0 &#187; problems of finding jobs</title>
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		<title>Job hunting problem &#8211; What if they don&#8217;t like me?</title>
		<link>http://www.xivclb-peru.org/job-hunting-problem-what-if-they-dont-like-me/</link>
		<comments>http://www.xivclb-peru.org/job-hunting-problem-what-if-they-dont-like-me/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Dec 2009 06:45:48 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Job searching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creating your job profile]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[getting online jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to get the job]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Job hunting problem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[problems of finding jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[various skills for jobs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://xivclb-peru.org/?p=36</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Preinterview fear about the interviewer liking you is always a cover for a lack of confidence in your interpersonal skills. Your problem isn&#8217;t &#8220;what if they don&#8217;t like me,&#8221; it&#8217;s &#8220;my communication skills need work.&#8221; On the other hand, if this is a post interview fear, and you believe the other party didn&#8217;t like you, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.xivclb-peru.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Job-hunting-problem.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-87" title="Job hunting problem - What if they don't like me?" src="http://www.xivclb-peru.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Job-hunting-problem.jpg" alt="Job hunting problem Job hunting problem   What if they dont like me?" width="204" height="138" /></a>Preinterview fear about the interviewer liking you is always a cover for a lack of confidence in your interpersonal skills. Your problem isn&#8217;t &#8220;what if they don&#8217;t like me,&#8221; it&#8217;s &#8220;my communication skills need work.&#8221; On the other hand, if this is a post interview fear, and you believe the other party didn&#8217;t like you, it is your problem. Whether it&#8217;s a presenting or actual problem, it&#8217;s a single obstacle rather than a cluster or series.</p>
<p>Focus on facts, not feelings.  If your fear of not being liked is expectant, you&#8217;re being <span id="more-36"></span>emotional. Focus on improving your interpersonal skills instead. If your fear of not being liked is extant, however, it&#8217;s a rational problem you&#8217;ll need to address directly. Expertise, while always important, generally isn&#8217;t a contributing factor in getting someone to like you.</p>
<p>The shortcut to getting someone to like you is the same as the shortcut to getting someone to trust you: show them you care about them. If in garb, language, manner, and action you demonstrate your respect, concern, interest in, and appreciation of the other party, they should like you.</p>
<p>Notice I used the word should in the prior sentence. Unfortunately, there are instances when no matter what you do, you can&#8217;t get someone to like you. There are many in this world who will not like you simply for what you are, how you look, or where you came from, rather than who you are as an individual. It&#8217;s disheartening, but even in business, a field in which judgments should be made based on the bottom line, there are people who will dislike you because of your religion, the color of your exterior, or the place you were born. It&#8217;s worthless to directly appeal to them for reconsideration because their no is entirely irrational. No added facts can make a difference, since the no isn&#8217;t based on facts.</p>
<p>Your only hope of turning such a no around is to appeal to a third party with a connection to the organization, asking them to intervene. Unfortunately, unless they&#8217;re someone with influence over the person who rejected you, this effort is usually a forlorn hope. A discriminator will never admit his or her irrationality and can only be forced past their prejudice with internal pressures.</p>
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