Most people don’t think about whether their goals make sense. They think these things are expected of them, and they’re worried that they haven’t yet been able to accomplish them. They assume every other parent has set aside enough money for four years of Bennington by the time a child is ten; that all their peers are saving and investing twenty-five percent of their income; that every other baby boomer already has $1 million in a retirement plan by the time they turn fifty; and that above and beyond retirement savings, everyone else is building up a huge estate to pass on to their children.

I don’t want to spend dozens of pages setting out my arguments that retirement is a concept whose time has passed and shouldn’t be a part of your planning, that all you can do for your parents and children is the best you can, and that it’s better to spend your money on yourself and your family while you’re alive than to pass it along in inheritance. If you’re interested you can read my thoughts on these issues in Die Broke. What I think is important is that I stress the foolishness of trying to do more than is possible, and the fallacy of comparing yourself to others.

At some point in your life you must accept the fact that you are not Superman or Wonder Woman. Success in life is measured, not by the size of your pile of chips, but by how well you played the hand you were dealt. You cannot control the economy or your generation’s demographics. At some point you must come to terms with your own limitations. Unless you’re lucky enough to become extremely wealthy, you simply will not be able to retire at sixty-five at the lifestyle you’re used to, pay your child’s entire college tuition bill, support aging parents until they die, and leave a huge estate. Set aside the question of whether or not you should do all these things. The simple truth is you probably won’t be able to do all four of them, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to do three, and if you can do two it will only be after much personal sacrifice. The answer isn’t to throw up your hands and give up; it’s to do the best you can. The only person who expects any more than that is you.

Equally important is that you stop comparing yourself to others. There will always be individuals who are making more money than you . . . and there will always be people who are earning less. Some careers soar like rockets until they either settle into orbit or crash back down to earth. Others are like gliders, rising and falling gently, steering carefully to take advantage of thermals, staying aloft for as long as possible and then coming to a graceful and safe landing. Some businesses are sprinters, exploding out of the blocks and reaching top speed in a few strides. Others are marathoners, slowly building to a steady pace but then sticking to it for mile after mile. Life isn’t about keeping score. It’s not a means to an end. It’s an end in itself.