If you’re part of a couple and/or you have school-age children, relocation still isn’t your real problem. Instead your obstacle is getting your employer to provide enough financial and other resources to make the transition less onerous for your family.

One problem at a time – Worries about the “costs” of relocation are almost always a cluster of related problems involving issues such as a spouse’s career, a child’s schooling, and extended family relations. The key is to isolate the individual problems and focus on solving each, realizing that financial compensation and employer counseling services can go a long way in solving all of them. Pick the most difficult problem first. For example, your spouse’s hunt for a new job will be more difficult than your hunt for a new school for your daughter, or a new home. If you solve the most difficult problem, the others will subsequently be far more manageable.

Focus on facts, not feelings – If you’re unmarried and/or don’t have school-age children, fears of relocating are purely emotional. The fact is that you can fall in love with, or at least like, any location that offers you a chance to improve your career. If you do have spouse or child issues, relocating is a cluster of rational problems. However, they’re probably not as difficult as you might at first perceive.

Become an expert – The more you and your family learn about your new location the less fearful you’ll all be about the move. Carefully study the support and services your company offers for relocating employees. Look for any gaps or shortcomings in the package.

Create an environment of trust – Having obviously won the new job or promotion, you’ve already established a level of trust with your new employer. Maintain that trust by never showing hesitation about the move. Instead, simply ask for help in the parts of the package you’ve found lacking. Ironically, in this situation most employers will do more for an already committed employee than for one sitting on the fence. That’s because they’ll view further contributions as employee assistance rather than as job negotiation. Remember, by paying attention to the understandable concerns of your spouse and children you’ll further secure your already trusting relationship with them.

You can try to appeal, or at least mitigate, decisions to relocate you by pushing for a possible flextime or telecommuting arrangement. However, I’d discourage the effort. Today, you really need to be willing to move where the work is.