Business Blog 2.0

There are three ways you can become an expert and, in the process, help overcome your business problems. Each has its advantages and disadvantages.

The first way to become an expert is to receive some formal schooling or training. The advantage of this method of becoming an expert is that it provides you with an official endorsement: you’re getting a seal of approval. The disadvantage of pursuing such formal endorsement is that it’s time-consuming. In all honesty, such an approach is rarely used by my clients, since it takes such a long time. Most of my clients come to me “in extremis” and therefore can’t rely on a long-term educational program to help them turn a no into a yes. The handful of times I’ve encouraged a client to use this technique have been when I was consulting with a young person, just out of college, who was looking to develop a strategic career plan. For most of my clients, two months, let alone two years, is too long.

The second way to become an expert is through public research. This involves going to the library and looking through books and periodicals, doing searches of online databases, and gathering any other already public information you can. It’s truly incredible how much free intelligence you can gather on a specific person or a company simply by consulting the public record. If you’re willing to pay for research, say by purchasing a report on a private company or individual from an organization like Dun & Bradstreet, you can obtain even more. The advantages of public research as a method of becoming an expert are that it’s quick and relatively easy to do. For the cost of an hour online and an hour of their time anyone who’s computer literate can come up with a great deal of information. The disadvantage of this approach is that it’s not likely to yield any surprising or unique information. Public research will let you become as much of an expert as anyone else . . . but not more. It’s a defensive technique: it insures you won’t be surprised. However, it’s not going to give you the information to spring any surprises of your own.

The third method of obtaining expertise is to conduct private research. This involves working the telephone and turning your personal network into an information network. Remember, no man (or woman) is an island: there are ways to reach everyone. And bear in mind that, even though it has become a clich, there really does seem to be only six degrees of separation between any two people. In other words, it may take you at least six telephone calls, but you should be able to get information on anyone by expanding your own network.

Let’s say you’re looking for information on that banker you’re asking for a line of credit. Private research would involve calling your accountant and attorney and asking if they or anyone they knew had any information on the banker. It would include putting out feelers at the chamber of commerce and Kiwanis Club meetings, asking if anyone had relevant information, or if they could steer you to other sources of information. The advantage of private research is that it can provide you with unique and possibly very valuable information.

The disadvantage is that it’s not easy to do and can be time-consuming. Private research works wonders when it comes to one-on-one negotiations or problems that seem to defy logic. It’s an aggressive technique that can provide you with the key to make a personal connection or to solve a stubborn puzzle.

The keystone of my technique is a simple but very powerful truth: the shortcut to trust is caring.One of the feelings that develops over time and which naturally leads to trust is the sense that the other person cares for you and your well-being. That means more than having shared interests or similar beliefs. Caring represents a personal connection that transcends the reasons or circumstances that brought the two of you together. Caring is perceived as an emotional bond that goes far deeper than a shared mercenary interest.

Normally, the feeling that someone cares about you builds slowly and incrementally through small and subtle acts and statements. These might include gestures like bringing you a cup of coffee, coming outside of a private office to greet you at the door, or asking about your family with obvious interest. Over weeks and months such little actions lead to a sense of caring and translate into a feeling of trust. The trusting relationship is like a giant fortress that’s actually built from little pebbles of caring behaviors.

My technique involves using as many of these caring behaviors, both subtle and obvious, as I possibly can, as quickly as possible. In effect, I overwhelm the other person with signs that I care for them as a human being. That allows them to trust me within twenty-four hours of meeting me. I make sure people who call for appointments are treated well. I insist my staff greet clients warmly when they arrive at my office, taking their coats, offering them coffee, tea, or water, asking if they’d like to use the rest room or telephone, and showing them to a comfortable chair. I always come out of my office to greet clients. I smile and introduce myself, using their name as well as my own, and express my gratitude for their coming. I repeat all the offers earlier made by my staff, making doubly sure they were extended. I openly tell my staff not to disturb me with calls unless they’re emergencies. I personally escort the clients into my office where we sit around a table. During the course of the consultation I ask about the client’s physical as well as their business or financial health, and their home as well as their work environment. At first, I listen more than I talk, leaning forward in my chair and looking them in the eye when they speak. After we discuss their problem, I give them something from my office to take home, whether it’s the pad they borrowed to take notes, or a book they might find useful or interesting. I once again escort them out of my office and repeat all the offers made when they first arrived. I thank them for coming into my life and shake hands with greater intimacy and warmth than when they arrived, this time using both hands. Then, later that day, either I or someone from my office follows up over the telephone, asking if they had any questions or needed anything else prior to their next visit.

Spelled out this way, my techniques sound very obvious. That’s because they are. But what’s also conspicuous is that they’re for real. Sure they’re conscious, but that doesn’t make them any less heartfelt. I do care about my clients. I am concerned with their physical well-being and comfort. I want them to feel welcome and at ease in my office. All I’m doing is demonstrating what I feel and think through my words and deeds. I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve and letting them see it. My technique is no more mercenary than saying “please,” “thank you,” or “you’re welcome.”

Is my system manipulative on some level? I suppose so. But I don’t believe that makes it bad or wrong. I’m not using it to twist people’s arms into buying something worthless, or con them out of their life savings. I’m simply trying to quickly create sufficient intimacy for me to be able to help them overcome their problems. I’m not using these techniques to pull unsuspecting people into my office. I’m using these techniques to assist those who have come in on their own, looking for my help. And then, I’m teaching the same techniques to all my clients and readers. I guess I’m saying the ends and my motivation justify my means, and that the ends you’re pursuing and your motivations should also justify the means.

If being openly warm and caring can today be construed by many people as Machiavellian then it says more about our current business environment than it does about my techniques. And if everyone practices the technique I espouse what will happen? We will all be more civil, polite, and kind to one another while overcoming most of our problems.

The way to turn a no into a yes is to address the reason for the no. Be careful. I wrote address, not attack. If you attack the other party’s honesty, logic, judgment, intelligence, understanding, or analysis you will turn that “no” into a “no way in hell,” rather than a yes. Implying or suggesting the other party has made a mistake will only force him to dig in his heels to defend his position and insure he doesn’t lose face. Asking someone to change her mind is the equivalent of pouring concrete around her feet: she will never change her position.

Instead of asking for a change of mind, you need to ask for reconsideration, based on new facts, facts that just happen to address the very points cited as being behind the no. Blame yourself for not having understood the situation in the first place. Say you made a terrible error in failing to include certain information. Explain that you forgot to provide all the necessary information.

Americans revere justice and the appeals process. We love the notion that last-minute revelations of new information can keep an injustice from being committed. It’s so ingrained that it has become a recurrent motif in American literature, television, and film. Most people will be happy to play a part in such an exculpatory adventure. If you come to someone as a supplicant, offering new information, he will almost certainly agree to listen and see if the new facts could change his reaction.

And if the decision was actually originally based on emotion, rather than facts, he will be under tremendous emotional pressure to now make an objective decision. Having been forced to give a factual reason for his emotional decision, and then having been offered new exculpatory facts, it will be very hard for him to say no again. Being provided with new facts also makes available a face-saving way of reversing one’s emotion-based decision. But even if he does say no, he will now be forced to provide yet another factual reason, which can, of course, be appealed with new facts. Repeated emotional nos cloaked in fake objections can only go on so long before the charade becomes apparent . . . and legally actionable.

Focus, clarity, and knowledge will together solve many problems. But another element is needed to guarantee success: trust. Unfortunately, in today’s fast-paced business world there isn’t enough time for trust to develop naturally. Instead, you need to expedite it by showing, through a host of measures including your language, action, garb, and timing, that you care about everyone else you need to help solve your problem.

John Stavros remains one of the most difficult clients with whom I’ve ever had to work. In his midseventies when I first met him, John was short and muscular. His deeply tanned, leathery face was set off by a full head of white hair. A flamboyant dresser, he prided himself on his brightly colored suits and matching ascots. He regaled everyone he met with the tale of how, alone, and with nothing more than the clothes on his back, he came to this country from Greece at the age of twelve. He began his business career by selling gyros from a pushcart across the street from St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan, and through his hard work and genius, John actually used that word, built up an empire of diners and catering halls. John punctuated his tale with four letter words and repeated finger pokes in the chest. While his story was inspiring, it was unpleasant to hear him tell it. . . over and over.

John had come to me because he had heard I had a good track record of negotiating with banks. His relationship with his bank certainly needed some help. John’s bank had made quite a bit of money with him over the years. They had financed his restaurant acquisitions and expansions, as well as his forays into catering. The problems began when he started a massive remodeling program on his catering facility. Buying this sprawling architectural monstrosity, located on a major commercial thoroughfare in an affluent suburb, wasn’t enough for John. He had to remake it in his own image. Garish was the word I politely used to describe the result. Financial quagmire was the phrase the bankers used.

Since John had no patience for those who didn’t share his taste or views, he hadn’t even bothered to speak with the increasingly nervous bankers. Costs kept running higher, the schedule kept being pushed back, and John’s representatives kept coming back to the bank for more. Like most bankers, John’s were loath to write off a loan, particularly a large one, so they continued to lend him enough money to keep the debt on the books. They did try to exert some influence, however. But whenever they would telephone or come to John’s office they were treated contemptuously. When told they were at the office, John would curse, loud enough for them to hear. When he did come out to see them he would say he was too busy to talk to them, and would suggest that one of his staff show them around. Even bankers have their limits. They sent John’s accountant a letter announcing their intention of calling his lines of credit within six months. That’s when his office called me.

After hearing the -whole story from the accountant, John was, of course, too busy to see me, I insisted on a personal meeting with John. Figuring I had nothing to lose by being bold, I laid it on the line with John. His bankers simply didn’t trust him anymore. He was treating them like minions, pushing them around, and not even bothering to hide his disdain for them. They weren’t his minions, I pointed out. In fact, it was within their power to destroy John’s entire operation, the string of pushcarts, the chain of diners, and yes, even his colossus catering hall. He needed to rebuild their trust in him. He had to show them that he respected them and even cared for them. And he needed to start right then. I held my breath and prepared for an onslaught. The curses did indeed come, but this time they were self-directed. Of course, after ripping himself to shreds he did finally turn to excoriating the bankers. But by then he’d run out of his better epithets. Luckily when he turned to me he was totally out of ammunition. All he did was ask what he should do.

Every week for the next six months, John and I attended meetings at the bank’s headquarters. I had John dress in a conservative blue suit with white shirt and a red tie rather than an ascot. I worked with him for two hours before each meeting on exactly how to be deferential to the bankers. I have to say that John worked as hard at holding his tongue as he did in building his fortune. He prayed for ten minutes before every meeting in an effort to calm down. After the first four meetings, the bankers were still unmoved. They thought John’s transformation was a sham. After the second month of meetings they were still unconvinced, but were willing to listen to our proposals. After the third month they were a bit more open to negotiating. Then in the middle of the fourth month the ice broke. They and John actually shared some unforced, unplanned pleasantries. At the end of five months the restructuring deal was on the table. And after six months a deal was signed

Pretense and pomposity raise everyone’s hackles. Conversely, unaffected modesty is the most universally endearing trait. Yet being humble runs contrary to popular wisdom, which says that if you don’t blow your own horn no one else will. I believe there is a middle ground, which actually gives you the best chance to turn no into yes.

Being humble doesn’t mean denigrating your skills or achievements, and it doesn’t require you to keep others from blowing your horn. Don’t be a blatant self-promoter, but at the same time, don’t refuse credit when it’s due. When someone compliments you on a job well done, express your gratitude for their words. Never say, “It was nothing.” Instead say something like “that’s what you pay me to do,” or “I’m just earning my fee.” Then, ask the satisfied client, customer, or superior to spread the word about your skills and abilities, noting that it would especially mean a lot coming from someone as respected as them.

You can also demonstrate personal humility, which will carry over into your business reputation, by asking for personal help or favors. Most people enjoy granting minor requests, especially if they involve a personal interest of theirs. By asking for a small favor you put yourself in the position of supplicant and the other person in the role of benefit factor. By giving them a chance to do something they like, and then get thanked for it, you’ll have boosted their ego and their trust in you.

This technique worked wonders for Paula Tanzeri. Paula had come to me for help in negotiating an employment contract. An upper-level executive at a major international auction house, Paula was in the unenviable position of having to negotiate directly with her immediate superior, since he was the only one with the power to make these kinds of decisions. After four days of back and forth discussions, Paula and I could tell the tenor of the meetings was about to turn for the worse over the weekend. In an effort to show some humility without backing down on any of her business demands, Paula sent her boss a personal note, asking if she could borrow a pair of antique candlesticks he cherished for a dinner she was making that coming Friday for her future in-laws. He immediately called Paula and said he’d be happy to lend them to her. On Monday morning she sent him another personal note, expressing her heartfelt thanks. That afternoon’s negotiating session was friendlier and more productive than any held the previous week.