Most facial expressions are instinctive rather than conscious. Because of that, many of us have learned to suppress our facial expressions in business settings and to instead convey what we think is a neutral countenance. We don’t want to “give away” our feelings. However, I don’t think there is such a thing as a neutral countenance. A blank expression isn’t perceived as neutral, it’s perceived as coldness, disinterest, or worse yet, stupidity.
If you want to demonstrate that you care, simply stop suppressing facial expressions. When you’re told something serious, you’ll appear concerned. When you’re told something tragic, you’ll appear sad. And when you’re told something happy, you’ll smile. Smiles are contagious. They are also one of the clearest signals you can give to another human being that you’re interested in them and consider them important. It may sound crazy, but you really can turn your business or career around simply by smiling more, and that’s what happened to Janet Parsons.
An on-air radio personality, Janet came to me for help after being given a negative performance review by the station manager. What was odd was that the negative elements had little to do with her actual performance. Her ratings were good and she came across very well on the air. What the station manager dwelt on, however, was her attitude. When prodded for specific examples, he couldn’t offer any. It was, he said, a feeling he had: she “looked unhappy.” When she told me the story I could see the problem. Janet’s mouth naturally turned down at the corners, making even a blank expression look like a frown. It shouldn’t have had anything to do with her review, and clearly the station manager would have never brought up such an issue with a male employee, but despite the unfairness of the situation, it had to be dealt with.
The solution was simple. While continuing to actively promote her positive performance, Janet began smiling broadly whenever she wasn’t in her private office. She asked a friend on the staff to give her a sign (tugging an earlobe) if she ever let the grin slip. Janet kept that smile plastered on her face when she walked down the hall and when she sat in meetings. Six months later, after changing nothing other than the expression on her face, she went in for another review. The positive change in her attitude, according to the station manager, was nothing less than astounding.
