Business Blog 2.0

You can receive no greater gift than someone’s trust. In business, when you’re trusted by someone else it means they believe you will place their needs and interests on a part with your own. It’s trust that allows two businesspeople to work out a deal that’s mutually beneficial, each getting all they need, if not all they want. And it’s trust that lets someone go out on a limb, break a rule, or accept a loss of face, by reversing course or bucking a trend. Remember, in business, no is the automatic, almost instinctive response to any situation, since it reinforces the status quo. No one gets fired for saying no. When the person you’re dealing with trusts you, however, it’s much easier to turn a no into a yes.

That’s great for those who deal with the same individuals over and over again. When two parties have a long history of mutual respect and cooperation, trust is the natural result. Time is to trust what good soil is to plants. So, it’s relatively easy to turn a no from your spouse, a family member, or a friend into a yes. They’ve known you for a long time and you’ve a history together.

But unfortunately, many, if not most, of today’s business and financial dealings are between two people with little or no history. Generally, the banker you’re approaching for an operating capital loan won’t know you or your business and, in fact, won’t be staying at that branch long enough to get to know you or your business. The supervisor you’re asking for a raise may have only come on board a year ago, or it could be you who just recently joined the team. In today’s business world people move too quickly for trust to develop naturally. Personally, I think that’s why there’s an ever increasing trend toward quantifying every business relationship and deal entirely with numbers and memorializing all of them with formal contracts. You can’t (and probably shouldn’t) accept the word or handshake of someone you’ve never met before. I also think that’s why there are more nos that need to be turned into yeses today than ever before.

Since trust is an essential ingredient in solving problems, and since you can no longer count on it developing naturally in our fast-paced business world, it needs to be intentionally cultivated . . . quickly. I’ve been facing this hurdle ever since I became a legal consultant. In order for me to provide quality service to my clients, I need them to open up to me and feel comfortable enough to discuss what may be very painful, personal issues. That, obviously, requires them to trust me.

I must admit I’ve always had a skill for gaining people’s trust. I think I inherited it from my father, who has always been able to connect with people very quickly. Before I went into private practice, my instinctive abilities at gaining trust were enough to get me through the common business situations I faced. But When I launched my consulting business I knew I’d need to do better. That led me to do an informal study of how to develop trust. I spoke with businesspeople I admired and . . . trusted. I read everything on the subject I could get my hands on, from Benjamin Franklin to Norman Vincent Peale. I tried out techniques on family and friends. Finally, I used the techniques on my earliest clients, refining the devices that worked and discarding those that didn’t. All this research, trial and error, and refinement allowed me to develop a system for creating trust within twenty-four hours of meeting someone.

Fear of rejection usually doesn’t matter anymore, since you’ve already received the ultimate workplace rejection. This is a single problem, unless you choose to bring in elements other than money, like outplacement assistance, COBRA, or continued use of office facilities, and turn it into a cluster.

Try as best you can to set aside your anger and fear over having been terminated. Focus instead on the facts of your situation. You have all the power now, since they have wielded their ultimate weapon and you are still alive. There is nothing more they can do to you. Yet, there’s a lot more you can do to them.

The company wants you to leave as quietly and quickly as possible. Everything they are and will be doing is designed to speed you out the door. Do not read this pressure as being a threat to give you no severance, unless they specifically say it is a take-it-or-leave-it offer. And even if they do that, don’t let it lead you to surrender. Instead, bypass the rest of the problem-solving checklist and move immediately to the appeal process.

Having been told that you’re terminated, you’ll be pushed to immediately agree to a package that’s offered and pack up your office and leave. Refuse to sign anything, saying that you’re in no mental or emotional state to rationally go over the papers being shoved in front of you. Agree to leave only after you have an appointment to speak about the severance package two or three days later.

In the two or three days available to you prior to the next meeting you need to become an expert on the job market. Contact headhunters, peers, employment agencies, industry journalists, and your professional association. Ascertain how long it takes, on average, for someone of your age, experience, and salary to find a new position comparable to the one you’ve left.

Employers will always cite the booming economy as a reason to offer little severance. However, you’re not going to be looking for a job stuffing tacos at Taco Bell; you want an upper-level executive job at PepsiCo’s corporate headquarters. Fairness requires you to get enough severance to keep you afloat long enough to find a comparable job, not just any job.

In addition, if there is any possibility that your termination is tainted by discrimination based on gender, age, disability, sexual orientation, race, religion, marital status, or national origin, add a professional’s expertise to your arsenal. For better or worse, the knowledge that you, as a protected minority, have hired legal counsel to examine the circumstances of your termination will set off alarm bells all over your company’s offices. Your severance package, never etched in stone to begin with, has just become as malleable as water.

If you’re not a member of a protected minority you’ll have to rely on the issue of fairness. Rather than letting your quick job market survey stand on its own, look to create an advocate.

Turn to the person who was your mentor in the company . . . even if she was the one who wielded the ax. Contact her at home, if possible. Explain how you’ve always looked to her as more than just a business mentor. Solidify the bond of personal trust that has developed between you over your tenure at the company. If she was the one who fired you, say that you know that was strictly business. This conversation, on the other hand, is personal. Then, tell her the results of your research, explain that you’ll need more severance to bridge the gap in your employment, and ask her, as a friend, to put in a good word for you.

Personnel offices will do all they can to stick to company policy. Unless some other executive gives them a reason to make a break with policy. Basically, they need to have someone else to blame for the exception they’ll be making. The expertise you’ve acquired, and the prodding from an advocate, should be enough to boost your severance package.

But if you’re still faced with a no, or if you’re originally confronted by a take-it-or-leave-it offer, you’ll need to move up the ladder. Your appeal needs to be in writing, either by letter, fax, or even E-mail, sent to the highest executive in the company you can approach. Don’t feel uncomfortable going over others’ heads . . . what can they do to you? Describe the situation as clearly and concisely as possible, and ask for a reconsideration based on the facts that you’ve uncovered about the job market. State that you know the company would never knowingly act unfairly, and that you hope these new facts will shed light on the matter.

Most facial expressions are instinctive rather than conscious. Because of that, many of us have learned to suppress our facial expressions in business settings and to instead convey what we think is a neutral countenance. We don’t want to “give away” our feelings. However, I don’t think there is such a thing as a neutral countenance. A blank expression isn’t perceived as neutral, it’s perceived as coldness, disinterest, or worse yet, stupidity.

If you want to demonstrate that you care, simply stop suppressing facial expressions. When you’re told something serious, you’ll appear concerned. When you’re told something tragic, you’ll appear sad. And when you’re told something happy, you’ll smile. Smiles are contagious. They are also one of the clearest signals you can give to another human being that you’re interested in them and consider them important. It may sound crazy, but you really can turn your business or career around simply by smiling more, and that’s what happened to Janet Parsons.

An on-air radio personality, Janet came to me for help after being given a negative performance review by the station manager. What was odd was that the negative elements had little to do with her actual performance. Her ratings were good and she came across very well on the air. What the station manager dwelt on, however, was her attitude. When prodded for specific examples, he couldn’t offer any. It was, he said, a feeling he had: she “looked unhappy.” When she told me the story I could see the problem. Janet’s mouth naturally turned down at the corners, making even a blank expression look like a frown. It shouldn’t have had anything to do with her review, and clearly the station manager would have never brought up such an issue with a male employee, but despite the unfairness of the situation, it had to be dealt with.

The solution was simple. While continuing to actively promote her positive performance, Janet began smiling broadly whenever she wasn’t in her private office. She asked a friend on the staff to give her a sign (tugging an earlobe) if she ever let the grin slip. Janet kept that smile plastered on her face when she walked down the hall and when she sat in meetings. Six months later, after changing nothing other than the expression on her face, she went in for another review. The positive change in her attitude, according to the station manager, was nothing less than astounding.